Will Walton and Charis Caputo 

F*cker Came out of Nowhere

Oh it’s raining!                                  

It is?


Fucker came out of nowhere

holy shit!

It’s like pouring.

Woah, yeah.


Well I told you that

it’s all moss

no grass.

Can you

What happens if you sit on moss?

What happens if you sit on grass?

I’m trying to think about whether or not I would be

harming the moss

Well it’s your

yard, I mean

I think the moss will be ok

You think the moss will understand?


Do you know if

by any chance

because of global climate change moss is having an

easier time of it?

I’m seeing more trees

with like a thin layer of green moss on them.

In a similar way

I wonder if um robins

you know, the birds

I wonder if robins are thriving.

You wonder if Robyn is thriving?

Shut up.

Like the Swedish singer?

Yeah I wonder how Robyn’s doing

during the pandemic.


Okay it’s like

Now it’s like sunny

What is going on?

You know

It was just one of those little downpours.

There’s so many things

I don’t understand about how the world functions.

Do you think there’s anyone

who feels like they have a handle

on how the world functions?

Wait what were we talking about that led to that

that made me say that?


Oh tomatoes.

Oh right

and whether or not there were just

big farms

that had huge fields filled with tomato plants.

Yeah and I guess that just made me think like you know

cheesecrackers or something

anytime you see inside the cheesecracker factory

you see the machine that they’ve devised to squirt

cheese onto crackers and smoosh them together

something like that exists for practically

everything in your home.

I guess it’s always astounding

anytime there’s an incredible specialization of knowledge

when you think about something like

a sommelier

who has to know about the soil composition

of every region in France

or whatever, you know, I mean

it doesn’t require you to know anything about the people of that region

even as deep and

as wide as it is

it still seems like

You’re living in a closet of knowledge.

You know?

We’re all living in a closet of knowledge.

Well no right, no

there’s no question about it.

We are all living in a closet of knowledge.

My god, it’s pouring.

What is New York even like now?

I was biking last night at sunset

between the curfew

and the protests

and then

I swear I saw bars with people drinking in them

and right next to it there’s like

places that are boarded up you know?

It stopped raining by the way and now it’s sunny.




I’m not making this up.

I know I know

I believe you.

At least your plants will be happy.

Yeah they’re really happy.

But in my experience

they’re not as delicate as people say they are.

I know you

I gave you guidelines and you

Took them much more seriously than I take them.

Well I mean

because they were guidelines!

you didn’t say like

do whatever you want.

You were like it needs to be watered

you were like here’s what you have to do.

You treated the

You treated my orchids so much better than you treated me




It’s funny ‘cause it’s true.

I don’t know if they

I don’t know if the orchids would agree.

Thank god orchids can’t talk.

Wait where are you

You sound far away.

[Sounding far away]:

I’m not.


I’m not.

I’m right here.

Are you falling asleep?